Death ?
I saw the moment
before death
last night
at least that’s
what I took it for
it was the last thing
I wanted to experience
and what I know
from it
is that there is
a particular judgement
that you administer it
to yourself
all lies are gone
there’s no time to argue
or make excuses
that we can feel
dread and despair
at this moment
struggle at
the closing brink
especially when
despair brought us there
or else love and hope
for the others
we leave behind
or believe -
for there’s no love
without belief
these don’t exclude
the stoic option
yes walk on still
in darkness
and fall like
one of the princes
however this requires
a disproportionate
investment of life
much familiarisation
study and training
a lot of nerve
for such a small
yet all-consuming moment
and even then
death surprises us
can cut us down
and make us quail
love fears
but can go on
I admit I felt
momentary panic
then dismay
that this
was happening to me
that that
is what it is like
that that
is all there is
to it
I must love
and let go then
Keble College Oxford
1 January 2004